In the last issue we revealed the possibility of a man lying in a relationship. It was established that lies, no matter how little is the foundation of a harmful relationship, that a lie happening is an indication of a disaster waiting to happen, and that if he can lie for you, he can lie to you. However there are some who are in a lying relationship but can’t tell; who want to ascertain if the partner is as rich, connected or powerful as he claims. If that is you, please proceed.
How to know if your partner is lying to you.
Applying these tips will help you ascertain if your partner is lying to you.
1. Your suspicion:
A woman’s most powerful gift is her instinct. The human instinct is created to suspect, accept and to discern. Though women try to trust who they love, if however their instinct suspects anything wrong, there are chances that something is really wrong. Most times though, the suspicion could be out of pure jealousy or based on past experiences that might not necessarily apply to this situation. However, if you suspect in your heart, don’t discard the leading or the feeling. Tread lightly. This might be enough reason to probe further. Don’t dismiss yourself, instead, carefully discern or decipher before proceeding.
2. His physical appearance:
Men usually claim to be larger than their status just for the purpose of pleasing a girl. Men respond to what they see and women to what they hear. Men understand that women are most likely attracted to the promise of a better future, that women are attracted to handsomeness and class, prestige, swag and positioning that influences and causes further influencing. Men understand that in her minds there is a scale of preference; that above swag and handsomeness and class, masculinity and authority to influence is the earnest love for a better future. Women want a future that is secured and would do anything for it. Women no matter how materialistic will starve for tomorrow’s plenty. Men understand. Thus the lie.
For the purpose of impressing the girl, he’d claim to own houses, cars and business empires, to be worth billions of dollars and to have connections that span states, countries and continents. However you can tell if he doesn’t own these assets, especially when he looks below the class. He might claim to control the wealth of nations but walk in rags. You might suspect his claims but be given to the impression that several billionaires dress in jeans and tees, that from the looks of Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerburg, and Jack Dorsey, that he is who he is just because some known figures dress as simple as him. Let’s take it from this perspective, though their appearance might be as rags or rubbish, though their combination might not square up to the trending fashion statement, be informed that their simple combination certainly is worth a fortune when the actual worth is done. If after you have listened to him, you still can’t find the worth, both in his carriage, appearance and otherwise, be certain, its all been a lie. Ignore the English. If he is worth what he claims, it will show.
3. If he talks billions without evidence:
Men are egocentric. If they have it they will flaunt it, no matter how conservative they are; they will pride it before the world. If your man claims to be rich, he’d want you to see it. If he has never shown you an iota of the wealth, no matter how little, please be advised, he might not be what he claims to be.
Some claim to test your feelings, to be certain that you love him for him and not for money. That is understandable. However, if he is as wealthy as he claims, you won’t need questioning, you’ll have the conviction. If it is available, he will flaunt it, unconsciously. You will see it, you will know it. If you press him for information, you will get it.
Know for sure that men are never after hurting who they love, thus, if he loves you and you push to know his actual wealth or the state of whatever he professes, you will see some evidence. A man who loves you will never want to see you frustrated or sad or even cry. If however he doesn’t show any evidence, suspect that it’s simply because he does not own what he boasts of. Note here that he could have them but never want to flaunt them. At this your instinct will let you know.
4. Don’t believe in random spending:
A certain fellow boasted about his love to his lady, that the love he has for her is real, that everything he owns is hers.
She asked, “what can you give to the woman you love so dearly?”
He returned, “my companies and real estate establishments.”
She’d sometimes talk about her financial challenges and seek assistance. At this he’d give excuse as regards why he can’t come to her aide; that he is under audit, that he has reached his withdrawal limit, that he has got into a spending agreement with the bank for some project he’s funding from his personal or corporate or not-for-other-people private account, and that for this reason he can’t give.
However there are times he’d spend monies in surprise sprees. Don’t be deceived by this. I’ll explain.
Men who claim to be what they aren’t are usually under pressure to prove their worth, even if they never seem like. This pressure in turn pushes him to hustle through any means available, just to prove a point. When by chance he gets any change, say two hundred or five hundred, he’d want to spend the entire lot on you, to promote his worth.
Study him when this happens. He’ll neither let you know how much is left in his wallet or in the account attached to his credit or debit card. He’d usually talk about the many other assets he has, and try to promote the abundance of his majesty over a surprise spending. He’d tell you this is just a pinch of his estate and that he did this just to make you happy. Notice, after today, it might take several days before another surprise spending spree. If this happens know that you are been played by a liar.
5. Ask one question over and over again:
The human mind is by default in relax-mode. Thus, no matter how sound he is, if a question isn’t true, there will be measures of inconsistencies over time, in the different answers. Nobody is perfect. Nobody is a computer. If you ask him about his worth today, give him some time and ask about his worth again, probably with different wordings. If he has always said the truth, there will be a very high degree of consistency in his answers—near perfect level of consistency. However, if he isn’t as rich or as powerful as he claims, you’ll find the lies in his words. There will be varying answers, different versions of how he earned a price or built a company or bought his real estate or why he can’t withdraw from his accounts. If you are wise enough to use different wordings to ask the same question, or to ask questions about the same topic, in the middle of a joke that is related to the question, without raising suspicion, you will be surprised at how differing the answers will be.
6. Look for attitude:
When you ask tough or repeated questions using different wordings, study him. His brain might be programmed to lie, however, the body language won’t always cooperate with the mind. When a man lies, the body always seem uncomfortable. You’d notice the stuttering voice, blinking eyes, sweaty palm, or his playing with things, a sign that the body is unconsciously trying to hide the lie. He’ll avoid eye contact with you. If he maintains sustained eye contact, looking sternly into your eyes, don’t be disturb. Let me explain this move. He in this is making conscious effort to intimidate you, or to subconsciously stop you from asking more questions, or to give you the impression that he isn’t lying. Many already believe that a liar won’t look you in the eye, furthering from established study that the body through the eyes would give up vital information about the validity of his answers, and also because of the guilt the heart feels when the mind lies. Ever wondered why they say “look me in the eyes and tell me you love me?”
7. Get close to his family:
The family is an extension of the man. Thus, if he is healthy, the family will be healthy. If he is as rich as he claims, then definitely it will rob off on the family, else, there is something fishy. That’s not the point. When you get close to his family and have won their trust, they’ll feel free with you and trust you to the point of saying real truths.
It’s also possible to have them in a situation where he’d have warned them to be carefull with releasing details. In this case, divide and conquer. Let me explain. He is one man but they are many. He can control to an extent the information he dispense, but them, a group of more than one person, it would be almost impossible for them to be consistent with their answers. Playfully isolate the weakest link and ask multiple questions. Afterwards compare his answers to both the strongest link and the collective response of the family, you will find the truth.
8. Be close to his friends:
His friends are also very valuable assets, another window to his soul. Look for his closest and trusted friends and get them to not only know who you are to him, but to also trust you as his woman. The reason why you need them as badly as you need his family is because they know the truth. They know the certain truths that his family might not and never know. Endeavour to become friends with them, win their trust make them come to have full confidence in you. The benefit of this is your knowing deeper things about him, especially when they relate to you as his fellow guys and members of his inner cabinet. Through them you will learn his weaknesses, downtimes, strength and most definitely the truths to whatever you seek. Ask them tough questions and be surprised by truth.
9. Pay surprise visits:
If he’s been lying about physical places in his life, like his office, home or where he hangs with his friends, discretely find out them locations of the places. Know where he works and pay him surprise visits. If he claims to own a chain of stores, know their locations and pay him surprise visits. Don’t make it obvious, don’t make it seem like you’re stalking. Be sleek and simple. Visit him as though you were just passing by. If he’s already taken you to tour these facilities, show up and respectfully ask to see him. If you assume this is a cheap giveaway, engage close friends and confidants of yours. If they are good, they’ll flow with the tide. They’d step into the store to buy stuffs, but find something wrong and then demand to see the manager, calling your boyfriend’s name, who is supposed to be the manager or owner. If he works there the staffs will either invite him or simply beg that he isn’t available to respond to the situation. If however he is neither a staff at the facility nor a manger or the founder at the store, your representatives will most likely get a different response, denying knowledge of him or his position in the organization. #bingo
10. Come out straight:
If everything doesn’t work, come out clean with him. Ask to see his account balance or statement of accounts. Explain to him your concerns; that you’ve suffered from the activities of catfishers, scams, fakes and liars. Be frank and completely honest. Tell him you want a serious relationship but that something in you suspects that something is wrong. Let him know you trust him but you are afraid of the consequences of building a relationship on a lie. Make him understand that you are not in love with him because of the money. Let him understand that if he claims to have a certain asset, that you want to see it, that if he does not open up, that he’s hiding something from you, that you are not comfortable with this trend and that you are willing to walk away. Let him know you might never recover from the breakup, but that you’ll have to move on from the torment you suffer. Be frank, be honest, be emotional.
If he loves you he’ll give in. If he’s for real he’ll show you evidence to whatever he’s preached, else, he’ll break down and cry. He’ll beg you, he’ll ask for forgiveness and seek another chance. But if he still refuses to reveal any evidence, walk away. If he refuses to reveal any evidence, even with your breaking down and pleading then he does not love you. He might be as rich as he claims, but if he does not love you and can’t give in to you, then trust me, this is not the love you want to spend the rest of your life with.
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