Trust is too fragile. It's like a very thin glass, slender and frail, a material that can be broken by the faintest wind. Though it be stronger than diamond and tougher than an heinous storm, still, its weaker than very very thin ice and lighter than hydrogen gas.
Today I approach a phenomena that is increasingly redefining what is called love and acceptance, protection, faith and trust. This is a situation that stems from the use of certain words, words that are not entirely true, but filter just in the nick of time to save you, to which you are entirely sold out to, because you constantly seek safety in your time of adversity and pain--your definition of love? You don't understand? Let me explain.
You are in a tight situation, you probably took your mum's stuff without her permission, and since you were in a haste, you left before obtaining the permission or notifying her of your action. Let's assume what you took was her alarm clock, and because you had to use it in your room, you forgot to return it before leaving home very early.
It's understandable that you never knew your mum set an alarm to wake her by 6AM, so she can take out the cake from the oven. She slept and the cake got burnt. It burnt so bad there was a fire that burnt the oven. Before anyone knew what was happening, the fire burnt a section of the kitchen. Thankfully, insurance took the bill.
Let's assume you were with bae in the evening, and the news got to you. You listened to your mum tell you she had set the alarm to wake her by 6AM, but since there was no alarm to wake her, she woke to the disturbance of a burning kitchen. Let's assume the burning started 8AM.
You're panicking. Your boyfriend takes you in hand and leads you to your car, drives down to the house where everything is very much under control and staffs of the insurance company are inspecting the damage.
They say it's no big deal, and vacate the premises before members of some cleaning company begins to clean.
You rush upstairs to take the alarm, and rushing downstairs you sneak into your mum's room, hide the alarm under her bed, and struggle to think of what to say.
Your mum steps into the room with your boyfriend, recounting what exactly happened. You had just hid the alarm under the bed frame when your mum steps in.
Your boyfriend instinctively notices you shivering. He knows something is wrong. Your mum is still engrossed in her description of how she jumped off the bed. She is describing all sorts of manoeuvring she did. You are stuck on the spot, just staring him in the face.
Your mum stops. She turns to you and asks, "you left early today, didn't you take my alarm so you can wake early enough?"
You are scared, stuttering, but before she drowns you in an evidence showing performance, your boyfriend comes to your rescue.
"Not true," he starts, charmingly clearing his throat as he reaches his pocket for his phone.
"Sarah," he continues, gesturing to you, "sleeps very deep and I know. Since I knew she had a very important appointment, and had to leave before 4AM, I awoke by 3AM and kept calling her line till she took the phone and went to the bathroom to take her bath and prepare, all this while I was still on the phone, driving down here."
You listen, feeling safer, impressed by the voice, skill and charisma, watching your mum believe every word of what he says, with you also learning the storyline so you know how to continue from his endpoint, in case you are asked some tough questions.
"I waited for her to come out," he continues, "and drove her car with her in it to the venue of the conference. I took a cab back for here for my car."
At this he stretches his phone to your mum, showing her all the missed calls and the call you eventually picked that lasted several minutes.
You are shocked. You refuse to believe. You draw near to see the screen. The time aligns with very early morning. The date is today. You draw back, finding it very hard to hide the shock. You are thinking of the best explanation for everything that had just happened.
You finally conclude that the only thing that could have happened is that he had backtracked the time, and tried your line severally, put the phone on mute, took your phone, connected his call to you, and left it running for several minutes.
All these happening without your knowledge or consent.
You are saved from the incoming inconvenience, and for this assume this is the best man in the world for you. He came to your rescue and delivered you from evil.
My take. Run away from him. Run as fast as you can and as far as you can.
I'm not against been intelligent or smart or thinking smart and sharp and fast. However, I am against lies. I am against this and I am definitely against anything that will deter the course of the truth.
To be frank with you, this is not the truth. In simple words, he lied. He lied to you. The swiftness with which he did all that without even sharing ideas with you or seeking your consent shows how much of a criminal he is. There is a high possibility that when you both get into that relationship, he will keep lying to you in ways you can never imagine, decipher or believe.
You trust him. You can go to bed with him at the wheels, that is the best time for predators to wreck havoc, when from happenings he knows that your life is in his hands. At this, before you know he has been lying to you, you'd have been wounded, frustrated, disappointed, deceived and probably join the long list of innocent and naive girls who took their life because they felt they have been used by a lying handsome.
When you spot a lie, stop it--stop him in his tracks. Ask the tough questions, drill him. Drill him to his soul, understand why he lied and look for the reason for why he should have lied, and why he shouldn't have. Balance the equation. Be the judge, the unbiased judge. And after all said and done, after the drilling and interrogation, if you are honest with yourself, you will realize that there has been no reason for him to lie at all. He could have defended you, cried with you, pleaded for you, appeared in court with you, go to rehab with you, taken your jail term for you--this is true love. Lying isn't.
Be smart. Stop the lying and the scheming when you see it. Even if the lie was to your benefit it will eventually take you to an early grave. If you see him lying, run. I don't think any woman can consciously change a hardened pathological liar. But if you think you can change him, then please do. If not, please run away from that relationship. Because, if he can lie for you, he can lie to you.
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