Getting into a relationship, especially one you intend leading to marriage is like entering a new phase in your life, which requires preparation; else the ground breaking problems that eventually end in a divorce.
When it is declared that two shall become one; after both have taken their marriage vows and have been pronounced man and wife, the priest in declaration implies that both are naked to each other with nothing to hide. True. But what happens when one is super-introverted and the other, super-extroverted? What happens when one is coming from a relationship that killed every element of trust, leaving her with nothing but a lack of trust for any future prospects? Don’t understand? Let’s proceed.
Sarah Johnson, a Texas trained attorney was suffering from loneliness, after having gone through the grueling challenges of love, meeting both online and offline persons, catfishers, liars and thieves. She couldn’t take it anymore. She wasn’t sure she’d ever trust a man, especially after opening up to many; men she was sincerely interested in, who broke her heart afterwards and left her for suffer. That was it. She quit love and would dedicate her life to both the course of justice and the defense of big clients.
Several attempts buffered from aspiring men, after all, she’s the classic curvy, tall and well endowed. She lived in the highbrow and also had business interests around the world. She wasn’t the top fifty richest people in the world, but is super rich. Every time she considered the proposals from gentlemen, she remembered the past, the hardships and pain, the times of real hunger and the moments when she had to sleep through tears and swim through backbite and backlash. This helped her accomplish one thing, send away prospective suitors.
Then she met Michael Rice, a charismatic, comedic and charming celebrity. To him it was love at first sight, but to her, it was some story too good to be true. At this she raised her walls of defense, got her instincts on over drive, shutdown her vulnerability and refused to be free. She was rigid; wanting to be certain he wasn’t after her for the money, the connections or her body.
He on the other hand wasn’t moved by the attitudes. He was a comedic genius and graced multiple stages from coast to coast. His smile was charming and his gestures dismissed even the staunchest attitudes from her Excellency. It wasn’t long before her heart fell in love, though her mind still resisted his coming, her attitude his gestures, loyalty and generosity. She wasn’t comfortable with the stream of girls around him.
At shows and public events, them girls mob him, isolate him, and even though he pursued after her, Sarah, in the heat of multiple girls’ hunt, she still managed to read meanings to this and many more; nagging on why the girls didn’t let him go, why they always pursued him, or mobbed him, or stalked him through phone calls and chat apps. She couldn’t digest it; she wouldn’t accept that he was a public figure. She had suffered betrayal from those with little or no public appeal, this to her was the mother of all disaster waiting to happen.
On a certain afternoon, while he sat for dinner with a certain lady, Sarah showed up. She came in with so much fighting fire even the security on the ground was forced to escalate the situation through 911. The lady on the other side of the table felt insulted. She hadn’t tasted dinner; instead went over papers with him. While Sarah nagged, ranted and cried, the lady stood to her feet, withdrew the cards and papers where some agreement and contract had been printed, and left. As she walked away, she said, “forget about the comedy central world tour contract.”
It was at this it dawned on her. She had over reacted based on her past experience with men, and it cost him this one super deal. At this time officers from the police department started pouring in. She tried talking to him, apologizing, but he said nothing, fading away into nothingness, after stepping into a cab. He broke up afterwards and for several days refused to take her calls.
Would you blame her for this? Even the English quote says once bitten twice shy. Based on her life experience, she wasn’t bitten once, she’s was bitten severally, yet she trusted some more, choosing rather to trust the wrong guys to fail before an original. Was it her fault? No.
This situation is what a lot of people suffer, borne from not knowing when a partner is for real, and when to let go of your past.
It is important for young people looking to fall in love to understand that every relationship must be treated as unique and isolated, that though we let the past guide our actions based on experience, that it must not crowd our judgment. We should learn to trust every new person until he has given established reasons for why he can’t be trusted.
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