I have established over and over again that jealousy in a relationship is a huge danger to it. It is a signal to the fact that someone’s life is in danger, and most often than expected, the woman is the victim. We have in the last couple of days seen a sharp increase in the number of deaths recorded, gruesome killings of girls by jealous, insecure and naive men who think that if they can’t have a lady, no one else should, that if she can’t love him then she must not love anyone else. These are the men that litter the society; these are the men that slay, slaughter and burn beautiful and aspiring girls to ashes. I have campaigned earnestly that you by every and any means necessary avoid these men. However, if you must proceed with that relationship, probably because you have fallen deeply in love and you don’t want to let go, probably because you want this relationship to work or feel that you have gotten to your last bend, and that beyond him you stand no better chance of finding love. If this is you, please find my well detailed list of strategies that you can adapt to coping with a jealous boyfriend.
1. Be open:
The one reason why jealousy exist in a relationship is because the man in question suspects that there are things his partner is hiding from him. He suspects that there are secrets in her life, things she has experienced with certain individuals before she met him, things that though had happened are still active with the said person; that the individual still has a hold over her and that the emotional allegiance she has to that person is strong. It would be even hurtful and unhelpful if she didn’t tell him the specifics and he had to gather the details from outside sources. This relationship would be ruled by the lack of trust, apprehensions, fear and ultimately jealousy. If you want your relationship with your jealous boyfriend to thrive then you must be open to your boyfriend. Be open to him about your past, about the men in your life, about the men in your past that are still present today and those of them he might have reasons to be concerned about. Be open and be honest. Jealousy is a strong, persisting and present danger for both relationships and the girlfriend in question. However, if you can be open your relationship can survive.
2. Be realistic:
If you have a life, or are an introvert and want to enjoy absolute freedom, the honest advice I have for you is to not date a jealous boyfriend. If you must date this jealous boyfriend, then be realistic about what you want. You can’t date a man and expect him to be happy that you are in shower naked with a former boyfriend or that you passed the night naked with an ex-boyfriend, or that you are always spending lonely times with some other guy or are always talking about some other guy or wanting to always visit him or help him or complementing him more than you even defend and appreciate your present boyfriend. Jealousy thrives when we throw anything at your jealous boyfriend and don’t care how he feels or responds. The fine way to deal with this is to put ourselves in his shoes. If we can’t handle these things if they were coming from him to us, if you can’t handle his passing the night in a former girlfriends home, or having a naked shower session with a former curvy girlfriend. If you can’t handle it, then be certain he can’t handle it. Be wise, be disciplined and be realistic. Know what you can handle and what you can’t, and in that light deal with your boyfriend.
3. Communicate:
A jealous boyfriend expresses dissatisfaction, usually translated to anger, with him shouting and ranting about situations that make him feel his girlfriend is either stalking another man or is in love with another man. However this is nothing compared to the amount of thinking that goes on in his mind. The mind of a jealous boyfriend is factory like. He puts in every energy available into thinking or studying, pondering, analyzing and or assuming. His mind mostly engages in a think-a-ton, postulating events that may or may not be true. Since you can’t read his mind or know for sure what his thoughts are, to be able to deal with great accuracy what exactly is spoiling his mood, you must communicate openly and intelligently. Talk about the things you assume he suspects and the people you assume he is jealous of. Talk about the things you assume he is mad about and talk about the things you assume he will be mad about. In your communication be anticipatory, be smart and be swift. He already has a problem with you been in the hands of guys, mostly people he assumes are better than him. Speak with him and speak highly of him in the process. Most men who are jealous boyfriends have low self esteem. If you must date him or continue in that relationship, then you must praise him, exalt him to build his ego; communicate with him to kill whatever signs of jealousy that might exist.
4. Plan your days:
If a man is jealous, he is because he assumes that days and moments where he does not know what you are doing, you are most likely with another man frolicking, having sex or making out. Men can be that low. You might have given him all the reasons to trust that you will never cheat on him, if he for any reason assumes another reason, outside what you told him, you most likely will have him reacting, as though you did it on purpose so as to cheat on him.
How do you curb this?
Be open about your daily activities. Every day that you will step out of the house or be out of his sight, you must carry him along. Communicate your plans with him, let him know your schedule or movement ahead of time. Plan them with him involved with the planning process. If the schedule will be tight let him know and let him see the durations of these tight engagements. If the schedule will be loose or if you will have meetings with some clients or partners or will have to be on an outing with some corporate entity or an individual, probably because you want to close a deal, let him know. Let him know what other girl friend will be going with you on the deal making dinner. Let him know what the dangers are and why you think you must go and how you think you can be safe from whatever his fears are. If there is a fight about this, settle it here. If he has to keep calling you from time to time then let him call you from time to time. Plan your days and let him know all the hot spots and dark spots in your activities. Let him know where there might be no network, in case you try to call and what time of the day you will be in those places, probably because you must close a deal there or be with your boss. This might sound stressful or might come across as you over working yourself, however that is what it takes to keep a relationship with a jealous boyfriend. If you can’t quit or move on without him, then you have to battle to save the union.
5. Be reachable:
A jealous boyfriend wants to always reach you. If you are not reachable, you give him the opportunity to assume, especially when he is at the critical stage of jealousy. Men at this stage suspect that their wife is cheating on them when they try to reach her by phone and the call is not answered on the first trial. If you are this person that might not take your phones into a meeting or might not be reachable because you are having a corporate or otherwise engagement in a part of the company that does not have network reception, then you must let him know ahead of time. Be reachable on phone or let him know why for some time you might not be reachable on phone. Let him know. If you are going to be in a meeting and can’t take the call. Pick the call, disable the speaker but position the phone in a way that he can hear you engaging a client in a meeting or him hear your boss conducting the meeting. If possible snap some pictures of the meeting and send to him, or do a very brief video clip of the meeting and send to him through Whatsapp or otherwise, so he knows you are in a meeting and can’t take his calls. Do everything humanly possible to be reachable. If you are dating a jealous boyfriend, you must always be reachable.
6. Call him unexpectedly:
A jealous boyfriend assumes that since you are cheating on him, or since you don’t love him as much as you love the guy you are cheating on him with, you won’t always call him. What then makes things worst is your not actually calling him at all. This can blow off his head and escalate the situation. To save this relationship, you must take it upon yourself to call him. Call him as much as possible. We all know he is the jealous one, he is the one with the low esteem, thus he is the one that needs to be checked upon. You need to as a matter of fact stalk him, turn the tables on him, play his games against him. Call every now and then and every single time and other time. Call him like you got no job or like you are addicted to his voice. Set up regular alarms to call him. Snooze alarms when they ring just to call him again after calling him when they ring again. Don’t wait for him to call you. Call him. When you can’t call him text him. Let him know you are engaged, or in a meeting, or dealing with a client, or managing a situation at the office, or walking on water. Make stuffs up, stuffs that are both funny and engaging. But make sure you call him and be dedicated to calling him.
7. Text love messages:
To deal with the assumptions of a jealous boyfriend you need express love to him, as though you're trying to toast him all over again. Toast him everyday. Send him loving messages, send him explicit messages, if he don’t mind. Act like you don’t have him or have never won his heart. He is the one afraid of losing you, thus the intense jealousy from him. However you play that card against him. You act like you can’t do without him and are afraid to lose him. Stalk him before he stalks you; toast him as though it is you seeking his attention. When you do this, you give him no room to jealous, thereby killing the assumption that you are cheating on him. This might not work for all kinds of jealous boyfriend, but this does one thing; it creates the super impression that you love him, are addicted to him and can’t let him go. This kills the thoughts of jealousy. When he assumes that you are cheating on him, one of the objections that ring in his mind are the messages that you have sent to him over and over again, and how dedicated you have been at that. He’ll want to doubt whatever suggestions just because you have constantly declared how much you love him, how much you need him and why you can’t do without him or why no other man can take his place in your life. Do this and be surprised at how quickly the jealousy dies.
8. Give him 100% access:
Because a jealous boyfriend assumes that you are hiding things from him, that you have created a hiding spot in your phone or your social media account, where you toast that other guy or share nudes with that other man, he finds it hard to trust you. If you want to date a jealous boyfriend, you need to give him a hundred percent access to yourself. Give him access to your phone, your call logs and chat accounts. If you want to keep someone like him take him the extra mile into discovering everything about you and everything about your communications. Do this to give him absolutely no reason to doubt the love you have for him.
10. Use him as profile picture:
Doing this makes him supreme. This gives him the impression that you are not only proud of him, but have declared an unfailing and undying loyalty, allegiance and or love for him and to him. This gives him the impression that you are proud of the relationship and what it can be. He assumes that guys exist who seek to take you away from him and most often than not, you lie to these people that you are single. When you put his picture in your profile picture spot, or when you make your cover page a picture of you both, you tell him you love him and have chosen to be with him forever. You tell him that you have told every guy that intends to ask you out or make out with you. You tell him that you have told them; that you have set a template to declaring to new guys that you are taken and that you don’t care what they do or have to offer. You through this have given him the firm impression that you have staked your entire future on him, damn the consequences, damn their swag or wealth or sexuality or connection. This has the very strong ability to forcing him into believing that you are not and will never cheat on him.
11. Relationship status on social media:
In your profile picture on social media, declare the love. Let it be seen, make it public in your social media that you are in a relationship with one guy and that guy is him. Tag him. Be proud of him and let him know that it is him and that you are proud of him. Make love posts about him. Post his picture every now and then, and also post a picture of him with you. Do love notes every other time. This tells him that you can’t be cheating on him and still declare love for him. Why? Because even the guy she will be sleeping with will also feel jealous that she is declaring love for some other guy and not him. This singular evangelistic move can turn away wrath. You need to do this to keep that jealous boyfriend.
12. Talk about him and let him know you are talking about him:
The critical jealous boyfriend assumes that there are other guys you are addicted to and that even though you declare love to him, these other guys are the ones that comes tops; that it is them you truly love. To deal with this, talk about your man and let him know you are talking about him and that you are talking about him to whoever he is jealous of. Be with those guys and put a call across to him. Put the phone on speaker and declare your love to him in the presence of this guy he is jealous of. Let him know you are with this guy and that you are declaring your love for him in the guy’s presence. If possible, when you are with this individual in question, do a video call and let him know you are with him, let your man see that he is there, close to you or around where you are. Stay long on the video call, and in it, repeatedly declare your love for him. Let the guy he is jealous over hear your voice and the conversations that follow after, and if possible, let him get involved with the conversation. This way your boyfriend knows that the guy is aware of his position in your life and that even if he wants to ask you out or make out with you, he would see very established signs that you are taken and that you are deeply in love with the one that has taken you.
13. Surprise him:
Send surprise selfie to him so he knows where you are. When you can’t send them let him know the conditions. Let him know you are wearing some really nice clothes and that you would have loved to send him pictures of you, but hat you can’t because you are in a meeting or engaging a client or trying to finish up a presentation. Carry him along. If he tries to insist that he sees your outing clothes, then send him a selfie of you doing what you said you were doing. Send him something, send him anything. When you do this, you are not only making him fall deeply in love with him, you make him know that you have no other guy but him and that you are addicted or in love with no other man but him. Following these steps make him know he is secured that it is you that is the jealous one. This gives him extra confidence and gradually kills the critical jealousy in him.
14. Know his friends:
His friends are like his kitchen cabinet; to an extent, they make the rules he lives by and structure the truths he believes in. He most often than not believes in them and does not take them lightly. If you have a jealous boyfriend, get close to his friends and let them see and know what is happening in your relationship. Let them see that you love him but that he is constantly doubting or questioning both your loyalty to him and or your love for him. They will be the one to fight for you, they are like your foot soldiers. Why? Simple. Since he is close to them and addicted to them, he brings to them the things that are bothering him. He puts it at their table and wants to hear their opinions. Just like you are close to him and most definitely can read signs that he is mad or jealous of some guy you are involving with; just like you can tell these things without him talking or saying a single word, so can his close pals and friends, and having them on your side will go a great length to protect your spot in his life and or kill whatever crazy assumption he is making about your cheating on him with some other guy.
15. Be close to his sisters:
The female folks are another very important Special Forces soldiers to recruit, especially the ones in his life. Be close to his sisters, his mothers, cousins and female friends. Be close to them. He most likely trusts them than he trusts his father, brothers or the male guys in his life. When they tell him you are not cheating on him and that he has no other reason to doubt your love, he in actual fact will have no other reason to doubt your love. Here you are taking advantage of the trust he has in them. The trick is simple. If he can trust them, and they trust you, then he can trust you. What mathematicians call chain rule.
Watch out for part two May 3rd 2017.
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